Fractured Beauty (Surviving Infidelity)

Have you seen that photo floating around the Internet of a bowl interwoven with Gold?  That bowl had been broken into many pieces and in Japanese culture instead of throwing that bowl out the potter fuses the broken pieces back together with gold.  This craft is called “Kintsukuroi”.  This process ends up making the bowl stronger than it ever was, even though you can see every fracture from the trauma, it’s seen as more beautiful because it was broken.  What would have been perceived as valueless is once again made priceless in beauty and worth by the hands of a skilled practitioner.

This image hits me deeply.  You see my husband and I have overcome infidelity in our marriage less then two years ago.  I discovered his secret sin Christmas night 2014.  He was immersed in a sinful relationship with a coworker that started out “just as friends” while on a deployment sail that ended up with many broken and shattered pieces.

His actions left our marriage in shambles….too many broken pieces to count.  If you’ve been through or are going through this you understand.  To the worlds eyes our marriage would seem to be an unsalvageable mess of wreckage.  But to the potters (God’s) eyes it was something of great value and worthy of repair.  Those broken pieces would be fused back into place with God’s precious gold, refined by His fire.  I couldn’t see how it was possible, but I knew that I loved my husband more than he hurt me, so I placed my broken marriage in Gods capable and willing hands.

Thankfully I am blessed to say that our marriage is now a beautiful mosaic of gold interwoven between many fractures, and it isn’t a weak vessel fragile and vulnerable to outside pressures, it’s a strong fully restored work of art.  The covenant of marriage is a vessel crafted by God and though it may break, it can be recreated into something more beautiful than it ever was.  Being obedient to the work is crucial.  It requires repentance,  willingness, and all of the scattered broken pieces, in order to be fused back together, otherwise it will never be whole again.  The process will most certainly feel very uncomfortable, as the melted gold fuses the broken pieces together, and you will see the scars, but they will be filled with a beauty that wouldn’t have existed if all the pieces were just thrown out.

So let God do the painful work of fixing your marriage.  Be obedient to His call to honor your covenant (even if in moments of great deception your spouse wasn’t). God can heal those deep hurts, you just have to give him all those broken pieces.  My husband and I are living examples of a marriage renewed.  It’s more beautiful than it ever was, and stronger than I ever could have imagined.

Give God your hurts, trust in His process and be obedient to His desire for your marriage.
With love, ❤



10 thoughts on “Fractured Beauty (Surviving Infidelity)

  1. So happy that the Lord restored what the enemy tried to destroy. Went through this myself many times actually. The Lord always allowed me to forgive and He would restore. I managed to break the curse of divorce in our family. Lost my husband 5 years ago this month after 32 years together. God is continues to bless me.


  2. I really appreciate your post. I am so happy that your marriage has survived this devastating blow and I pray it truly is stronger. I would only offer that in order for healing and restoration to occur in the context of marriage of two believers, not only does the offended spouse need to completely forgive, but the unfaithful spouse has to *truly* repent and want restoration. His sin needs to be dealt with – not glossed over. Otherwise, there really is no healing. It’s just a lie on top of a sham resulting in ever-increasing hurt. It seems so often in these scenarios, the offended spouse (usually the wife) is blamed for her husband’s infidelity (or other sin issues) and expected to forgive freely and joyfully and immediately, while the unfaithful spouse (usually the husband) only needs to claim he is sorry and won’t do it again. Really, their pastor or nouthetic counselor needs to get to the heart of the matter: Do the married partners each individually know the Gospel? Are they really born-again believers in the Lord Jesus Christ? The adulterer, the offended spouse, and their pastor or counselor really have a lot of hard work to do if the marriage is to become that picture of Christ and His church that marriage is to represent.


    1. Fully agree and have practised that very thing fully. I’m glad to say that doing that has lead to a fully restored marriage. It’s the hardest road to take…. But it’s the sweetest destination.


  3. Thank you for so honestly sharing your story of pain and heartache surrendered to a loving Father who is the only One who can bring beauty from ashes! I too know that God can restore what seems impossibly broken and He can make it better we could have even dreamed. I love that you are using your blog to bring this hope and truth to countless others. I pray that God uses your courage in speaking out to bring about restoration in countless marriages torn apart by sin and selfishness. I pray blessings on you and your wonderful husband!


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